Thursday, April 9, 2015

When Temporary Seems like an Eternity


People have been asking where the blog posts are. I was determined to document Vicky's journey each step of the way, and I have fallen down because it has become so hard to witness. This journey she's on is no longer shiny and new, with all those interesting questions of what happens next. It is now often a journey of grinding fatigue and tears. She cries so easily. 

The other day she said, "This is temporary, right?" I said Oh, most definitely, but she is having a hard time believing me. 

But there are bright spots. Especially today. Vicky texted me at work, wondering if she had her doctor's permission to go swimming at the rec center. I about fell off my chair. A little later, she texted that she had gone swimming, and that it was good.

I was so very proud.

Here's a little photo collage of her over the last few weeks:

Vicky looking so pretty with her apron and pink scarf...



Vicky trying to be up and about, but oh, so droopy...



Vicky clapping at our little visitor squirrel we found in our living room the other morning...


Vicky resting during her 5th (out of 6!) chemo treatment...



Sometimes she just needs to lay down on the nearest horizontal surface...



Vicky and me out on a short Forced March a couple of days ago. She's the one that requested it!


She's got one more treatment to go, and then after a recovery period, surgery. To her, this feels like it's always been this way, and it always will. But the time is coming close that she will be done with her chemo treatments, and this overwhelming fatigue will come to an end. 

It is so hard to see such a self-sufficient, cheerful woman become so frail. But she is strong, and that strength cannot help but peek out, like today, when she just up and went swimming. A more courageous, persistent, resilient woman I have never seen. 

This weekend, we're heading to Moab for a few days. I expect it to be quiet, with perhaps a few outings. But I get to be exclusively with her for a few days, and she gets to completely relax in a beautiful place. It doesn't get much better than that.


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