Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Clean


Victoria got the call today. 

She called to tell me about it: 

The pathology report is back from last week's surgery. The tissue they cut from the breast had completely clean margins. And the 5 sentinel lymph nodes that the surgeon removed are completely clean. No cancer in the lymph nodes means no cancer got out into the rest of her body, and the cancer that was in her breast is cleanly and completely cut out. 

Vicky is clean.

That was an amazing moment, standing there in an empty conference room, phone to my ear, listening to Vicky tell me this. I couldn't speak for a long time, almost floated away. It was a moment I will never forget, standing there, listening to the electric silence between us, sharing an incredible, sacred realization that she and I had just crossed a threshold; the uncertainty and fear were now in the past; the road ahead is sunny and verdant and it is going to go on for many, many years.

When I got home, we walked into each other's arms, held each other for a long time. "This lady feels good," I said. "This lady feels healthy."

Then I asked her: "So -- what are we going to do for the rest of our lives?"

She looked up at me with a thousand hopes and said, "I don't know. I guess we'll just need to figure that out, won't we?"



Tuesday, May 12, 2015

The Next Station

We met with Dr. Rasmussen, Vicky's surgeon today. He was very positive about the results of the exam. No clinical evidence of the tumor on exam. He said he would be shocked if there was lymph node involvement.

And the best news -- surgery is a week from tomorrow!

It was an amazing thing to sit with the scheduler and ink a time for her surgery. I didn't get her name, but she was a sweet woman. As she was working out a time, she told us something she'd heard about cancer from another patient. She said it was like going on a journey. They tell you hey, you're going on a journey and so you pack your bags and there's all sorts of anticipation and excitement. Then you get on the train, and it goes faster at times and slower at times and there are beautiful vistas that you want to stop and look at closer, but you soon realize that the train never completely stops. It just keeps moving you on to the next station and the next station after that.

So now, surgery is the next station. But it is the next station! No more interminable chemo cycles.

One thing was very disappointing: Dr. Samuelson said that likely if there is no lymph node involvement, there would be no need for radiation. We mentioned that to Dr. Rasmussen, and he was very surprised. He said that for any lumpectomy, the likelihood of recurrence goes way up if you don't do radiation, and he thought that we had possibly mistaken what we heard from Dr. Samuelson.

Tomorrow we'll be meeting with Dr. Samuelson, so hopefully we'll get his perspective, but looks like Vicky will be going through 6 weeks of radiation post-surgery, 5 days a week. Pretty big blow.

But. Vicky is beautiful and strong and her pants are creased and she has a beautiful scarf and hat and her head is up and she is looking toward the future with love and optimism and especially hope. We couldn't be more grateful for the blessings we've been given, that the tumor has virtually disappeared with the treatment, and that Vicky is starting to have energy again.

The Lord is truly miraculous and loving.